Christmas at the Dekkers!

So, I'm sure all of you have been waiting with baited breath to see the pictures of our final, decorated, Christmas tree. So, here it is!

I have also thrown in a bonus one that didn't make it into the Christmas card!

Christmas Cookies

So we made some cookies this Christmas. Sugar cookies. Now, everyone in my family knows that the perfect Sugar Cookie has been my Holy Grail for a number of years now. I have tried a different recipie each year for the past five years, all with varying degrees of success. But they all fell short of the texture, taste, and decoratability that I had in my head. Until Becky and Jason Hedden blessed us with their recipie. Now, THIS was a Sugar Cookie. Creamy, flaky, not too sweet, and so easy to cut into shapes and decorate. Of course, leave it to my family to take decorating to the next, disturbing, level.

The cookie on the left is Winnie the Pooh, clearly recognizable by his jovial, yet curious, grin, and crimson top. The one on the left is my father's interpretation of what Pooh would look like were he on fire. Please note the toothpick splint where Pooh lost his leg in the blaze and my father (yes, a doctor) retrieved and re-attached the severed limb.

Now this cookie may look like a simple rabid Polar Bear, but those of you who are Lost fans will note the difference. What is it? The bleeding bullet wound where Sawyer shot the approaching beast in Lost: Season 1, thus saving the hunting group. My question is why didn't they have bear steaks that night...but we may never know.

8-year-olds: A Scene

Setting: A climbing wall.

(Both climbers are racing up the wall. GIRL is farther than BOY.)

GIRL
I'm beating you! I'm almost there!

BOY
It's not over 'til someone gets injured! So, get out the Band-Aids, Michelle!

THE END

HAAPY BITHDAE!

So, one of the events that we host here at Life Time Fitness is children's birthday parties. They are great fun to chaperone, especially when you get really active kids. I chaperoned two of these 3-hour parties yesterday, and learned a lot more than I thought I would.

Things I Learned from a 7-year-old's Birthday Party

1. Life is really just a game of freeze tag- just try to be the ones who un-freeze, and stay away from those who freeze.

2. Pizza is the best thing ever!...Wait!!! YOU HAVE CAKE?!?!

3. Gifts are great- whether they are given in pretty bags stuffed with tissue paper and ribbons, or in a brown paper lunch bag with "HAAPY BITHDAE!" scribbled on the side.

4. Small potato chip bags make great carpet-skis.

5. It's OK to be the one that bounces around the soccer field doing nothing in particular...until the big kid smashes into you.

6. Inhaling seven pieces of pizza, 2 cans Coke, 2 bags of corn chips and 3 pieces of cake makes people laugh...but you sick.

7. Kickball is a very important game, and needs to be taken very seriously. This is life or death stuff here. And don't get us started on T-Ball!

8. Dad is the best basketball player in the world.

9. Little sisters are SO stupid...but you touch her and I'll kick your butt.

10. The gym closet that Miss Beth accidentally left open a crack is a wonderland full of magical toys, flying machines, glittering balls, and untapped merriment beyond our wildest imagination.

Christmas Trees!

I've long not fully grasped the idea of Christmas Trees, but have always embraced it. So, we decided to make the trek outside of Columbus to rural Grove City, OH, to find and cut down our first Christmas Tree. Of course, Maeby had to come along as well!

We found the tree farm, grabbed a saw, and trotted into the field of little green triangles. Maeby thought it was fun to bite the saw. Once.

There were these holes interspersed throughout the field, where people had dug up trees. We thought it was great fun to throw a treat into the hole and see if she would get stuck...man, we're awful people.

So we found our tree! And, after a brief family portrait, Nick and Maeby, armed with a saw and razor-like teeth (I'll let you guess who had the saw) set about cutting it down.

A tractor came and dragged it back to the barn, where they bagged it, and tied it to our car. Stay tuned for the completed product!!!

Saying goodbye...

Thanksgiving morning, they announced that this season is, indeed, Alias' final. My first thought was, THANK GOODNESS!!! It's just been downright painful to watch this year. But then I think back to the first two years and how amazing they were and I realize that we said good-bye to it a long time ago. Of course, in this day and age, when truly quality shows are cancelled on a producer's whim- Arrested Development, Kitchen Confidential, Family Guy, etc..., Alias' five seasons is a pretty impressive amount of time for a show to last.

We shall always have the DVD's!!!

Thanking

So, I've been mulling over a post on thanksgiving and thankfulness, unable to say anything new about it. Then I checked my email this morning, and read my daily e-devotional from [get ready for a shameless plug...] www.purposedrivenlife.com and it said it all! I thought it was great- and wanted to share it all with you! Happy Thanksgiving!

What Thanksgiving Can Do by John Fischer

The worst moment for an atheist comes when he is really thankful and has no one to thank. - Unknown

Thanksgiving is the theme song of the Christian. For a Christian not to be thankful is like a dog not to wag his tail at his owner's approach.

Thankful Christians walk around grateful for every breath, every sunset, every new morning, every color in the color spectrum, and every star in the sky. Like an alcoholic who is clean and sober, noticing beauty and taste for the first time, we are grateful just to be alive because we have been dead for so long.

It's hard to think of one vice that the virtue of thankfulness cannot render useless. One does not need to steal when one is thankful. A man does not covet his neighbor's wife when he is thankful for his own. No one craves more when he is grateful for what he has.

In the same way, a thankful heart cancels out pride and arrogance. No need to judge other people when you are thankful for who you are. No need to measure yourself by and compare yourself to others when you are thankful for what God has done in your life. No need to keep anyone out of the kingdom of God when you're overwhelmed that you got in. (God can let in anyone He wants. I am simply glad to be counted among the saved.)

You don't care if you get the important seat at the table when you are overcome with gratitude at simply being invited to the dinner. You don't put heavy weights on other people's shoulders when you are thankful that God has lightened your own load. You are not obsessed with what other people think of you when you are overwhelmed with the fact that God is thinking about you all the time. You don't demand respect when you are thankful for your place. You don't have to hide your own sin when you are already thankful for God's forgiveness. You don't have to protect your image when you are already number one with God. You don't have to condemn other people's blindness when it's only the grace of God that has allowed you to see. You don't have to try for the highest place when you are already grateful for whatever place you were given. You don't have to make a show of spirituality when you are thankful for having received the Spirit. You don't have to clothe yourself in holy robes when you have been already clothed in righteousness. You don't have to be full of yourself when you are thankful that God has filled you up with Himself.

Not only do we have a lot to be thankful for, our thankfulness can accomplish much.

This is Flirting. This is Flirting on Chaser and Endorphins.

So, from my cockpit-like view of the goings-on of Life Time Fitness, I witness exactly what an excess of caffeine and endorphins can do to (hopefully) single men and women trying their darndest to flirt. There are three specific situations I've noted, so choose your favorite. They are all clearly winners.

1. The Playful Towel-Snap: It's not really hard enough to sting, and it's usually met with the "snapped" grabbing the towel and pulling. Throughout the giggly exchange, the towel may be passed back and forth between the couple until a third party walks by and interrupts the conversation.

2. The Seemingly-Witty Observation:
Woman- "Those lights look like donuts to me!"
Man- "What?"
Woman- "Donuts! Or bagels, maybe."
Man- "I can see that."
Woman- "I've never noticed that before!" (twitter...)

3. The "Clearly-I'm-in-here-every-day,-you-don't-think-my-butt-looks-this-good-by-itself-do-you?, but-will-tell-you-I-can-never-make-it-because-my-busy-social-calendar-just-sucks-up-so-much-of-my-charismatic-time" Conversation Starter.
Enough said.

Brilliant to the Bitter End

So, those of us still mourning the eminent demise of The Best Show On Television, Arrested Development, can rest assured the cast, creators and writers know how to take their bow. This was recently on tvguide.com:

In the News: Arrested Development, 24 and More!
Friday, November 18, 2005

HYSTERICAL DEVELOPMENT: Leave it to Arrested Development to mine the tragedy of its imminent death for laughs. Per Variety, series creator Mitch Hurwitz is planning an episode that will poke fun at Fox's decision to reduce the show's episode order from 22 to 13, effectively canceling it. In the episode, titled "S.O.B." for "Save Our Bluths," the Bluth clan considers throwing a fund-raiser to save their construction company from shutting down. In one scene, Jason Bateman's Michael notes, "Our backs are against the wall.... It's just hard for me to accept that it's really come to begging." There's even a conversation about whether the Home Builders Organization (HBO) might be willing to come to their rescue. That idea is quickly nixed though, leading George Sr. to say, "I guess it's Showtime. We'll put on some kind of show at the [fund-raiser]." Meanwhile, after reading this item on TVGuide.com, the American public released the following statement: "Huh? I don't get that last joke. I told you this show was dumb."

Ziggy

So, we have what are called "Member Advisers" at the gym. Essentially, they are the salespeople that are trying to get you to join. They aren't as bad as you think, in fact- I was most impressed with them when I joined a year ago. However, they have to hit these astronomical goals, and if they don't within 90 days, they're let go. Needless to say, there's quite a turnover.



There is a new member adviser here who looks, for lack of a better description, like Ziggy. I'm sure he's a really nice guy, but he walks by my desk at least 40 times a day and EVERY TIME he says something terribly original like, "Are we having fun yet?" (or "Smile!", which, not having a terribly happy neutral face is a comment I get often, yet always manages to illicit the exact opposite reaction out of me...I can't imagine why). My usual response is a cherry "Always!" and he smiles and moves on. Every day, it's the same... 40 times a day...

But he changed it up a bit lately. As I said before, Ziggy, albeit nice, is not very original, and now says- wait for it- "Still having fun?" every time he sees me. Are you KIDDING me? Please, DEAR GOD, help me!!! It's getting to the point that it's sucking whatever wit I may have had out of my brain and drying up whatever friendly smile I might have on my face. AND HE LOOKS LIKE ZIGGY!

So, friends, I implore you, help me regain the will to wit. What can I say to Ziggy the next time he says "Are we having fun yet?" And, remember, I have to see him all the time. Every day. 40 times.

And he looks like Ziggy, for the love of all things funny!!!

Noooooooooooo!!!!!!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20051111/tv_nm/shows_dc

I know...I know...

Nick's parents visited this past weekend, and mom and I got a little crazy with the cameras, and how cute Maeby was in her first independent trip into our backyard!


I have to admit, at one point, I did try to shove her hind end into this stump in order to achieve the ultimate in cute pictures...then, a few hours later, lamented that crazy nut Anne Geddes who shoves babies into women's hoisery, hangs them from the ceiling and takes pictures of them. What a hypocrite I am.











Then, after a long day...she sure loves to cuddle. And I certainly don't mind.

Disturbing Kids' Activities

So, I was searching today for Circus-themed preschool activities and found this. Does anyone else find this one incredibly morbid?

Bake a Buried Clown Cake:
1. Bake a sheet cake; cool.
2. Frost the cake with chocolate icing.
3. Make the Clown Cones: Scoop round balls of ice cream into sugar cones; turn the cones upside down onto a plate of cookie sheet; and doecorate the ice cream clown faces with frosting tunes, using the cone as the clown's hat. Keep in the freezer until cake time.
4. To assemble, place Clown Cones on top of the cake, ice cream side down, evenly spaced, one for each child, so the clowns look as though they are buried beneath the cake and only their heads are sticking up.

So, essentially, what you're left with is a clown graveyard. Ummm...I don't know about you, but I'm not sure if this is a healthy kid activity.

Ryan? Thoughts?

Attacks with roast pork...

So, many of you know that I have a great deal of respect for winemaking and winemakers. Nick and I are absolutely facinated by this ancient art that has spanned time, countries, and beliefs. We love that winemaking is, at its core, a community art that takes decades, and even years to perfect and is ALWAYS evolving, even as the bottle of wine evolves. And we also love that small-scale winemaking is rarely about the alcohol, drunkenness, or the amount you can drink through a keg while standing on your head, but is about that one taste that speaks of centuries of work. And, when you taste something that complex and that intriguing, you know that the next sip won't be the same, and if you have it again next month it won't be the same. So, sometimes, just one sip is enough. Which is what makes it so special.



We spent 5 days in Napa and Sonoma Valley with Kim and Kurt last spring, and had just a glorious time. I discovered that I have a pretty sensitive pallete when, paired with my outspoken nature, can result in some fairly humorous moments of me expelling a mouthful into the "excess wine pitcher" as the sommelier (wine expert) waxed poetic about the nutty vanilla of this or that.



One of the best things about wineophiles is the plethora of words they've seemingly invented to describe wine- check out this tasting notes generaor and describe some wine of your own!

http://www.gmon.com/tech/stng.shtml

And, do try the Elegant and over-ripe Cabernet. Attacks with roast pork, zelous fois gras and dainty green tea. Drink now through when the cows come home.

Yeah, So, We Think Our Dog is Pretty Cute.

She seems pretty relaxed here at this Double Dekker household.

People Training

So, we've spent a very entertaining last 84 hours. Maeby is just so cute we can hardly stand it. We have to keep reminding ourselves that she is just a baby, though. It's very easy to forget sometimes, because she looks like a small dog. She gets startled easily, and plays easily, and forgets things easily. She sleeps A LOT- far more than we had expected, and just LOVES her kennel. So, crate training is going well. House training is a challenge- but we never leave her alone- not even for one second, and she has started going to the door when she wants to go out! (See the previous post for a lovely mental picture...)

More than anything, however, we're learning how to train OURSELVES. One of the things that we've read (and heard from the MILLIONS of experts on dog training out there), is that, in order to train correctly, we must set routines and boundaries for Maeby. But she's a PUPPY and needs to test these boundaries. We just need to reinforce what the proper things are to do, and not just yell NO all the time.

For example, as part of the housetraining, we take her out when she gets up from a nap, after eating, and when she goes to the door. She got up from a nap last evening and we wanted to play with her. 20 minutes go by, and she squats on the floor and pees...we say no and promptly take her outside, confused why she did this. Then we realized our mistake. We hadn't taken her out right after she got up. Our fault.

Also, when Maeby starts chewing on stuff- such as curtain cords, rocking chairs, and tiny pumpkins, she has NO IDEA that these things are not toys. All she knows is that Nick and I yell NO! and then get all flustered as we remove the object. It dawned on us when we had taken Maeby upstairs and she started chewing on the hanging blinds cords in our room. We said NO! and took them away, but realized very quickly how ridiculous this must have looked to a puppy. "Oooo- look! Strings with little wooden balls on the end, this looks just like that thing I chew on downstairs- talk about FUN!...I think I'll chew on it for a bit...wait-why are they yelling?...?" It's a puppy's natural inclination to play with stuff- and our house is just at the beginning stages of being puppy proof.

We're reinforcing to her what our toys are, but the one thing we have to realize that when we're saying "good dog" to catching sticks in the yard, and then we go inside and we freak out when she starts gnawing on our amish rocking chair (fashioned out of what can only be described as sticks), that is CONFUSING to a tiny dog. Heck, that's confusing to ME!

Of course, we're not about to take the blame for this dog's actions for the rest of her life. We're really being strict with her, but praising the bejeezus out of her, too. We just need to make our house, and routines, more conducive to training a dog! And we need to stop just looking at her and saying "SHE'S JUST SO FREAKING CUTE!"

A Mental Picture Gift

So, one of the things about puppy training that anyone will tell you is that punishment and yelling don't work, but praise works wonders (I could take that to a whole other metaphysical level, but I'll spare you). So, most books say, make a HUGE deal out of a puppy doing something right. I have imagined a few times what it would sound like to get help on this issue. ***Ring...Ring..."Hello? Rockettes? Yes, I was wondering how much it would cost to hire a few dancing girls to perform a celebratory kickline every time my dog takes a dump..."***

I give you: Beth celebrating this blessed event...

I got up two nights ago to take Maeby out. (I have this incessant fear that her tiny, acorn-sized bladder is going to explode...) So, there I am, at 3:45 AM, in front of our house, in slippers, PJ pants and a t-shirt, waiting for this little dog to crap. A minute goes by...two minutes...three minutes...then, she goes! Well, I am just so thrilled that I can get back into bed, but remember that I have to praise her, so I proceed to clap and jump up and down and coo "Good DOG, Maeby, Good dog! Outside! Good Dog!" for like a minute solid. I'm petting her, and talking all high and cuddling her, and then, all at once, I realize I am making a HUGE amount of noise at 3 in the morning, and I should probably go back inside...but not before I think what this must have looked like to our neighbors, should they have been awakened by my celebration of the early morning dump of my little dog.

So, there. A Mental Picture. Merry Christmas from me to you.

Introducing Maeby Ray Magic!

Well, yesterday we added another member to our little family, in the way of an eight-week old Yellow Labrador Retriever! After a number of years of talking and praying about it, we decided it was time for a little discipline! And, boy, did we get it! She's a very good dog, very smart, and such a flirt!



We have talked a lot about treating her like a dog, instead of a daughter, so we're not going to call us "mom" and "dad," and try not to spoil her! But...we couldn't resist a cute little pink collar and leash!



She comes from quite a lineage of Labs- we recieved a 3 generation AKC litter certificate with her purchase. Some of these names crack me up! Her parents were Brutus Buckeye Boy and Sloopy Bethel Wenning, and some of her grandparents were Fast Fearless Fred of Wabash, Drooping Daisie in the Woods, Ike's Pride Kock D'Kreme, and Big Bad Buster Brown VI! You can't make up names like this! We wanted to give her a name worthy of such ancestors! Therefore, Maeby Ray Magic! Maeby is a nickname for Mae (and a character from Arrested Development), Ray is the name her breeders called her- and we wanted to honor them in that this was the last of a litter of 10 to give away, and it was very hard for them. Magic is in honor of my family's Black Lab, whose full name was Buddy Black Magic. He was a great dog, and had to be put to sleep a number of years ago. He's one of the reasons we wanted a lab!



Our first night with her was good- even though one of us was up every two hours to take her outside- but she really liked her kennel and was very good otherwise. We've gotten so much advice on having a dog; it seems like everyone has had a completely different experience! I've had stacks of books in my hand, each one saying something opposite the one before! We're trying to use information that specifically targets Labs, and we're being very strict with her.



She's going to be a huge dog- you can tell by her paws! And, we're having fun so far! She's a real sweetheart and we can't wait for everyone to meet her!

Hocking Hills

So, yesterday, Nick and I enjoyed the absolute PEAK of the Ohio Fall Color Season hiking in Hocking Hills. It is a gorgeous bit of land just Southeast of Columbus an hour that reminds one more of Maine or Oregon. And, to those of you who think that Ohio is nothing but cornfields...shame on you! You simply have to visit Hocking Hills!

We started our hike in a place called Conkle's Hollow, where you park at this small "rock climbing and rappelling area" lot. We got out of the car and heard...nothing. It was just luscious. Growing up in a small town, I was very used to the quiet, but have since gotten away from that conditioning. I forgot how much I loved it; it was just wonderful. We walked into a very unassuming woodsy area, across a tipsy bridge and into some brush. About 1/4 mile in, it got very dark and shaded, and it dawned on us that we were heading alone into a Hollow between two very high cliffs. We noticed things moving high on the cliffs and realized they were rock climbers! We watched them for a bit, waiting to see if I would have to utilize my emergency belaying skills, and then headed out, feeling rejuvenated and healthy. Fresh air does that do you.

Then we headed to a place called "Old Man's Cave," which is, by far, the most visited place in Hocking Hills. (It's actually not a cave at all, but a gorge carved out over the years, creating a 2-football field wide 1/2 umbrella-shaped recess in the limestone.) We just had no idea how "visited" it was. We pulled into the parking lot where HUNDREDS of cars carrying a THOUSAND people had parked as well. We followed the masses into the gorge, and headed down the steep steps. It was really beautiful, I'll give you that, but there is something distressing about marveling at a natural rock formation at the same time as 2000 other people. I just can't do it; watching people snap pictures of the beauty of creation a few moments after they have flung a cigarette butt into the rocks just hits me wrong.

Anyway, we quickly headed to a place called "Rock House" (which just had us singing "Brick House" most of the hike), and Nick FINALLY got to climb into an actual, honest-to-goodness cave. It was pretty cool, but, once again...people.

Is it just me or do hordes of people just muck stuff up sometimes, particularity with natural wonders? It is very hard for me to distance myself from them and view God's Creation separately--something I strive to do often, unfortunately. But, I suppose that's the point. People, all shapes, sizes, colors, with all sorts of sins, vices, and...smells...are an integral part of Creation. To enjoy it means enjoying all of it...because, essentially, Creation IS Christ. It comprises HIM, HE keeps it together, quite literally. I won't get all "American Beauty" on everyone, but next time I'm staring at something beautiful while standing in a crowd of people, I'm going to TRY to view the crowd as part of the beautiful thing I'm experiencing. We'll see how I do...

Changing Jobs...

So, tonight I find myself OVERJOYED for one of my dear friends and a move she has made to rid herself of a job that was weighing down her life, time, and heart. I can finally write about Caitlin and what an amazing event planner, floral designer and person I think she is, now that the "secret" is out and she has quit her job. I know I have spoken to many of you about her as one of my coworkers at my last job, and one of the most talented people I have met. I was skeptical of "floral designers" before I met her; I mean, how hard can it be to put flowers into a vase? But then I saw Caitlin create a floral arrangement for the first time; she turned flowers into pure art! (And then I tried to "put flowers into a vase" and realized just HOW hard it was to do so...) I am so happy that she is moving on! Now she is free of her job, her boss and the amazing toll it has taken on her life and stress level, and on to a completely different company and job!

This got me thinking about quitting and leaving jobs in general. I have never quit a job- I was usually hired for a specific amount of time, was moving out of state, or let go (ironically from the same company Caitlin just quit). But I think the feelings are similar- depending on your affinity to the job in question.

Any time you change surroundings that are embedded into your subconscious, it aches. It rarely feels good- even if it's something you want! I have left jobs I HATED with a passion, and it was still uncomfortable for a few days. Your mind and body have gotten used to driving to that place, sitting in that chair, seeing those people. It has become like a second skin, or a comfortable pair of shoes. When that is removed, no one can prepare you for it. Whether you rip it off like a band-aid, or take it masochistically slow, it can feel like a shedding of skin, or opening a wound. And you're plunging into the unknown! When does that feel good?

As long as we keep telling ourselves that it is for the better- no matter the circumstances: clearly we were no longer supposed to be at that job. We must keep reminding ourselves that we are not in control of it! And God is not going to give us more than we can handle.

Glorious Fall!

I love fall. I just LOVE it. Yesterday I spent the most glorious fall day cooking and listening to good music. We had the doors and windows open and it was the most perfect 65 degrees out with an unbelievably blue sky complete with puffy clouds and bright colored trees. It was great.

Saturday night Marcia, Chip, Nick and I went to Lynd's Fruit farm just northeast of Columbus. (http://www.lyndfruitfarm.com/) We picked apples (Roughly 40 lbs.) and went on a hay ride and ate kettle corn...truly idyllic.

So, I had A LOT Of apples on my hands yesterday. I used about half of them and made applesauce. Of course the whole house smelled of Vietnamese Extra Fancy Cinnamon (from Penzey's Spices, naturally) and apples. But, I couldn't just make ONE thing at a time. I also put together 75 burritos to freeze for easy meals during the winter. It was great fun. And, the whole time, I just blared a delightful mix of Grey's Anatomy, Scrubs, Garden State, and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind songs. (I tend to like my music far louder than my male counterpart...so it helped that he was at rehearsal.)

The whole day reminded me how beautiful God's creation truly is...and how beauty can truly be seen in its purest form in the most simple things. I think Autumn emphasizes this the most- the colors seem clearer, the foods taste fresher, the air is sharper. I hope everyone is having as beautiful a fall as we seem to be having! And I hope that you're getting a few moments to enjoy it!

Photoshop Honors

There is nothing in this world that frustrates, tickles, infuriates, and surprises me like Adobe Photoshop. For those of you who have used this program, and I mean really used this program, you know what I mean. You can do amazing things with Photoshop, if you know how to use it. Aye, there's the rub. If you know how to use it. It has taken me 5 years-yes, FIVE YEARS- to get to the point for me to say "Yep, I can use Photoshop." Here is something I'm most proud of-

In May, my Grammie turned 80. She is a wonderful woman of God, and I was excited to hear the family decided to throw her a large party. My mom wanted to honor her in some tangible way, with a gift or a plaque. She mentioned that there was a movie in the 70's called The Coalminer's Daughter, one of which my grandmother is. Here is the original poster of the movie:

My grandmother was a WAC (Women's Army Core), which is where she met my Pop-Pop, who was a Military Policeman. Here is her Army picture:

So, I recreated the poster using Photoshop. If you click on it, you can see that even down to the "rating" of the movie is personalized to my grandmother. I think she really loved it- I'm so glad it turned out well!

Now, this month, my Pop-Pop turns 80! So, the fam wanted something to honor him as well. This is his MP picture- isn't he handsome?!:

But, there was a bit of a problem. There is a severe lack of 1950's MP movies, and that's what I wanted. So, I sort of invented one..."Our Singing Sergeant." You see, my pop-pop was part of the "Singing Sergeant" group while he was in the service. But I needed a tagline. My mom tells the story that when Grammie wanted something to be fixed around the house, my Pop retorted with "I'm not a fixer-upper, I'm a lover!" So, add your own plot, but it sure has a happy ending!

Inspiration

I just found this quote today and thought it was just wonderful. Enjoy!

What is it that you want?
What is standing in your way?
What are you doing about it?

Arrested Development: The most popular unwatched show on TV

So, Nick and I were recently turned on to Arrested Development, via Season 1 DVD lent to us by our dear friends Michael and Mandi Hutchins, and are positively addicted. We actually just purchased Season 2 yesterday, and are already well on our way into the absurd wonderfulness that is this show.

Knowing how it has been strangely received, as a critically acclaimed, unwatched, show, I was wondering how many of you have seen this show. I never know who to expect as an AD-addict. Knowing that most of the people who read this share a similar sense of humor, I think all of you would really enjoy it. That said, it is a show that is best watched from the beginning of the season to fully appreciate it. Good thing there are now 2 seasons on DVD!

As a student of the "absurdist" genre (of which AD is a Ionesco-perfect example), I LOVE this show...and would love to introduce it to more people!

Spoiler Apologetics

So, I have received far more comments AGAINST spoilers than for them. Knowing my friends (mostly purists) and their views on art of any kind (highly intelligent), I had a feeling that the baser ways to enjoy art (spoilers) might hit them the wrong way.

I realized that I failed to explain, or defend, my position on spoilers. Now, this is not to say that I disagree with those who choose to remain spoiler-free. I actually TOTALLY understand their point of view. It is the same reason that I try to see incredibly hyped-up movies the day they come out or not at all.

**Case in point- I have never seen The English Patient. (However, after seeing Cold Mountain, I'm not sure that I'd want to, save for the fact that hot hot Naveen Andrews of Lost stars in it.) It was too hyped, I knew too much about it, and the plot was plastered all over the place.

However, my enjoyment of spoilers comes in the actual drawing out of the enjoyment of the show in question. For days before and beyond the one hour (41 minutes) of television, I can enjoy it. I can discuss the plot points on my boards, I can find out deeper meaning behind certain books and clues otherwise lost on me, and I can drive Nick CRAZY by saying- "Look at the milk carton!," "Do you know who that is?" or "Yeah, don't get too attached to her." Priceless, I tell you!

Like Suzanne with reading the last few pages of a book first, I normally enjoy things more if I know where they're going. It has something to do with control, as do most things in my life, I'm sure.

**Case in point- City of Angels, I'm sure, was a great film. I loved the premise, I like Nick Cage and Meg Ryan, I thought it was beautiful. But, alas, I HATED this film. To this day, I cannot watch it. This is due ONLY to the last 10 minutes of the film. I won't "spoil" it for those who haven't seen it, but had that not happened, I would have loved it.

I understand that there are some who cannot see my point, and view spoilers as tainting my TV-watching experience, but it couldn't be farther from the truth for me. They merely enhance it- and if there was a support group for spoiler-heads, I'm don't think I would join. Thanks, though!

Coffee and Spoilerfix

So, I'm sure most of us has a morning Internet routine by now- that ever-growing list of sites we hit before (or during) our morning cup of coffee. This usually includes, at least for me, email, favorite blogs, maybe rottentomatoes.com, and a series of far more embarrassing sites.

You see, My name is Beth and I am a spoiler junkie.

For those of you who have yet to grasp the world of spoilers and what they entail, a definition: A spoiler is a tidbit of information released from cast, crew, producers, or PR reps about a television show (my crack), movie, or other celebrity gathering. These are hungrily gathered by fans, websites, and, most commonly, entertainment mag/site gossip columnists (the most popular being Auseillo at TV Guide and Kristin at E! Online (who is notoriously WRONG most of the time). Now, some people are "spoiler-free," that is, they do not wish to know ANYTHING about the piece of entertainment they are about to enjoy (which I would love to discuss in another post). And I respect that...I tried to go spoiler-free once. It lasted about 13 minutes.

Now spoilers are often misleading, in a number of ways. First, they are a way for the producers of a show to purposefully "leak" information in an absolutely free format that will spread like wildfire amongst rabid fans. Secondly, the spoiler doesn't even have to be true to spread, and everyone knows- even bad/untrue publicity is good publicity. Third, most of the shows that are "spoiled" have such intricate plots that spoilers RARELY spoil anything at all.

Nick and I have a number of shows that we rarely miss: Arrested Development, The Office, Scrubs, Lost, Alias, and Grey's Anatomy. The two amongst these that I CANNOT handle missing spoilers for are Lost and Alias. (By the by, don't get me started on what a mindblowingly phenomenal show Lost is. And, be very careful, those of you who fail to agree...Morgan...) :)

The best site for these two shows (and twelve other biggies) is www.spoilerfix.com. It is updated almost daily by three fans who watch each of the 16 shows they cover every week, and also confirm EVERY spoiler they post before posting. This is not to say that spoilers are sometimes wrong (see above), but that's half the fun!

I am admitting this to you all in hopes that I will walk away from my iBook free of the hold spoilerfix has on me, but, alas, I doubt this will happen. In fact, if I had to be honest, I think I am secretly trying to spread this disease to at least one of you...Hey, at least I admit it!

Happy spoilering!

Sweating is good.

So, I work out five times a week, an hour each time. This is merely a fact, so don't think I'm boasting. I work at a gym, which undermines my first statement, I suppose...it's hard to be in a more motivated place than here, watching hundreds of rock-hard bodies walk by eight hours a day.

I've come to a lot of realizations about health throughout the last 10 months since I've been coming here. The most important of which is IT'S NOT WORKING OUT UNLESS YOU'RE SWEATING!!! I'm not a health genius, but it is IMPOSSIBLE to talk on the cell phone, read a book, or study for a test while TRULY working out. And you can always tell the people that are really into it...they look like they're dying.

(I recently discovered that this is actually based in scientific fact- when your heart rate is at your Anaerobic Threshold- the optimum point to burn fat and strenghten your heart, you reach a point where it becomes much harder to say more than a few words at a time, you're sweating like a pig, and you feel like you're going to die...yet you are at the perfect BPM.)

My favorite is when I see people bounce down the stairs from the cardio floor after about 30 minutes, just as perky as ever, not a glisten of sweat anywhere on their body, make-up and/or hair still in picture-perfect place, and their brand-new Calvin Klein 3-piece track suit hardly wrinkled. These people, you can be sure, have just spent a very relaxing 20 minutes on the treadmill. Now, there's nothing wrong with that; in fact, it's encouraged! But you KNOW they're going to go home and tell everyone they went to the gym and "worked-out."

Alas, I suppose it's these people that don't really need to sweat like a pig to fit into their new track suit...it all balances out, I suppose.

Workout Wear

I see the strangest things from my central desk here at Life Time Fitness. I see each and every person who enters the exercize floor, and what they're wearing. There's obviously the smattering of shorts, windbreaker panks, Champion wear, t-shirts, sports bras, tank tops, and don't forget the ever-popular sweatpants-that-were-chopped-just-a-smidge-too-short, and curve-hugging-spandex...remember, it's a privelage, not a right, people.

But I have seen people work out in far more interesting things...a pair of pinstripe pants and a golf polo, jeans that are just a tad too snug, or button down paisley flannel shirt cut off at the elbow paired with jean shorts.

How are people moving in these things?!? I wear, almost religiously, work out capri pants and an Old Navy tank. I suppose I shouldn't knock it until I've tried it, though. Maybe the paisley does something for your fat-burning potential.

An Extra Stamp

So, this morning, from 10 - 10:45 AM, I found myself playing with 7 toddlers (ages 1.5-2.5) and their parents. The regular instructor for this class was off for Rosh Hashanah, as was my boss, so it fell to me to take over. Now, those of you who know me well, you are most likely on the floor, laughing at the very THOUGHT of me playing with 7 toddlers. And, it was, indeed, laughable.

For those of you who have ever spent two seconds with a toddler, you know that they don't stay in one place for longer than said two seconds, and certaintly don't "come" when their name is called. But, this class is there to facilitate bonding between parent and child, and also to promote social skills amongst the kids. So, I had an outline- the very thought of which, to me, is ridiculous. Here is what it looked like:

Tornado Toddlers- October 4.
Gym set up: Parachute, carpet squares, crayons, box of musical instruments, small dinosaur toys, various toddler equiptment.
Theme: Dinosaurs

Free Play until 10:15

CIRCLE TIME: Good Morning!
1. Head shoulders, knees and toes
2. Read short dinosaur book
3. Complete dinosaur puzzle
4. Hokey Pokey
5. Where is Thumbkin?

More Free Play

PARACHUTE TIME
1. Make Waves
2. Ring around the rosie
3. Make a bubble
4. Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star

CLOSING: Bubbles and stamps

So we started, and the kids proceeded to scream and laugh and cry and fall down. I attempted to get them into a circle for "circle time" and read the dinosaur book. No one listened. So, on one last-ditch effort, I stood up and began singing "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes" and "Where is Thumbkin?" while most of the kids ran screaming across the gym floor, or threw kickballs at one another. (Which, by the way, our knees and toes are a whole heck of a lot farther away than they used to be- try it!) All at once, it hit me how ridiculous this whole thing was and I just started laughing.

Christopher, my favorite one, seemed to agree that I looked ridiculous, and made his opinion known by laughing and hitting me in the knee with a "Boo Ball." He then came over to me and sat on my foot, an action that I'm not exactly sure how to interpret. All I know was that it made my day, and I made sure to give him an extra T-Rex stamp at the end of class.

Perceptions of Salsa

So, we went home to my family this weekend and made salsa...a lot of salsa. It's a Meyer family tradition, and we all gather for it. Our property backs up to a farm, so we head around the block (a country block- 1.5 miles square) and get a bunch of tomatoes and peppers and onions and garlic. We cut it all up, boiled it all down, and canned it all!

Now, most of you know I come from a large family; I'm the oldest of 7 kids, to be exact, and two of us are married. So, most of our meals together are presented in a quantity most families just don't ever see at one time. I'm used to large quantities of meals on the table at dinner, and- even thought it's only Nick and I- I still have trouble cooking meals for two. I never realized fully how skewed my perception of "family-sized meals" was until we finished canning salsa, and counted the spoils...

115 quarts of salsa.

When I first heard this number, I wasn't blown away, I didn't stagger, I was actually...and I can't believe this...but, DISAPPOINTED. I have no idea why- I think I had the number in my head in the 200's or something. But, I just figured out why. I have NO IDEA how to visualize a quart...but I do know how much a gallon is. So, the number that DOES stagger me is...

29 GALLONS of salsa.

Now THAT'S impressive.

Yes. Yes, I can do that.

I'm sure I'll talk more about my job later, but suffice it to say, I work in the Member Activities Department at Life Time Fitness as a Sales Assistant and Event Planner. We're throwing our annual kids' Halloween Party next month, and my boss asked me if I knew anyone who was a face painter. Happilly, if not GLEEFULLY, I announced that, Yes, I do. I, in fact, could face paint. I am a face painter.

This is not the first time I have been giddy over the fact that I can serve someone with one of my useless skills. You see, I have been known to be able to do a lot of stupid stuff. Most of this stuff is inconsequential to most people's lives, but I love knowing and learning all these silly things, such as welding, crocheting, and making lip balm (Oh, how I wish I were joking...). This has been an inside joke in my family for a while, seeing as I'm not really running towards a specific career right now, but I can do lots of stupid crap. I went home a few weeks ago, and announced to my Sister Kate (also the title of a fabulous song from the Ditty Bops) that I had learned how to rock climb, and was now Belay Certified. She promptly responded "Ah, yes, yet another useless skill you'll never use!" Lovely. Of course, she's right, and I do like adding things to my list. It's become a bit of a hobby, I suppose. And, I won't bore you by listing whatever skills I think I have...I assure you, it's nothing short of embarassing for me and those associated with me.

The problem is, I do not excell at any of these things. In fact, I've often called myself the "Queen of the Mediocre Skill." (..."You know, like nunchuck skills, bowhunting skills, computer hacking skills... Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills"...I can't get it out of my head...) And, honestly, I don't really wish to excell at these things. Oh, I want to be GOOD at them- enough that I could provide assistance in a pinch indoor rock-climbing belaying emergency, or throw a quilt together at the last minute- but it's really just a collection. The question that really gets me is when someone, ANYONE, asks me "Do you know how to ______?" and I have to say no. Man, I HATE that. The thing is, I don't expect that of everyone else! When I ask someone else if they know how to do something, I certaintly don't expect them to say yes, or- if they say no- think worse of them for not knowing that particular skill. But, I surely have made it my goal to be able to say yes to most things- at least dealing with skills that do not require Board Certification, Higher Education, or Possible Legal Consequences and/or Jail Time.

I have wished many times that there were a Spiritual Gift to explain my little...problem. The boy scouts have a great motto, and as the proud daughter of an accomplished Eagle Scout, I have known the Boy Scout motto since I was little- "Always Be Prepared"- and I can use that for a reasonable explaination. It's not quite a Bible verse, but it will do.

Is it just me...

Ok...I might be totally off-base, but you know when you're on someone else's computer, and you hit that little arrow button next to the website address in Explorer (or Safari), and a list of recently viewed and typed-in webpages drops down? Does anyone else think that this is a good insight into the type of person that uses that computer? I use the quote often that "Character is who you are when you're alone," and I liken it to the same thing... I mean, for those of us who are the sole users of our computers, they start to resemble more of us everyday, don't they?

I know it's basically snooping, but try clicking on that little arrow button on a foreign computer...it tells you a lot about the person (or people) that use that computer.

I think I just totally encouraged you to tresspass. Awesome.

Theatres

Ever since I first stepped into The Swan theatre in Stratford-upon-Avon, England, in January of 1999, I have understood the true importance of the Theatre Space. For those of you who have been there, you will understand what I'm saying. That space just breathes theatre. It just sits silently, wrapped in the orangy brick walls that have surrounded thousands of the great actors of the last century. It was originally built in 1879, a Victorian Gothic building with walls of brick and stone, and seats and balconies of wood. It was burned to the ground in a 1926 fire, leaving only the horseshoe-shaped brick wall standing. An Elizabethan-style theatre was rebuilt within these walls, and reopened in 1986. It is built mostly of wood and stone, and has the organic feel of standing in an ancient forest. It is, hands-down, my favorite performance space on earth.

But there have been many that have been intensely important parts of my life. In June, Nick and I had the great fortune to revisit Calvin's campus with our dear friends, Jessie and Karl, and visit the spaces that had served as the backdrop to the first few days of our friendship. Why is it that the memory of spaces portrays them as bigger than they actually are? We hadn't physically grown in the three years since graduation, but they felt intimate and smaller than before...and how on earth had we produced so many exciting, if not monumental, productions in these spaces?!

The Gezon was a tough space, a thrust proscenium...always a challenge for everyone involved- the designers, actors, and directors. But it was a good space, a friendly one... The lab - the everchanging lab theatre. A true black box- and not many people have had the freedom to work with a blank slate such as the lab theatre...you don't know what you're missing until you let your imagination run wild in that space.

But theatres feel almost haunted...sacred, in a way. I can understand why people of many different faiths are attracted to theatre. In a quiet, empty theatre, it almost feels as if you're worshipping. Most liken it to the space itself being haunted; I think it makes them feel better about that feeling that you're being watched...as if justifying it with a ghost will make it easier to understand. Some go so far as to set out a ghost light (which has plenty of safety reasons to back up its existence...it surely doesn't need a misplaced spirit to necessitate one). Instead of jumping to the fairly complicated conclusion that each and every theatre in the world must play host to a tragic ghost, maybe the hundreds of passionate, emotive, intense thespians that passed over its boards have each left a little behind. They have imprinted themselves onto the space during their lives instead of afterwards.

Then these imprints influence us in the space...they are what make it sacred. And anyone who has had the great fortune to stand upon a theatre stage alone, with a quiet auditorium, will understand the feeling of finding that space in its most unnatural of states. That, alone, will create a feeling of hushed intensity.

Sometimes, an empty theatre is the best place to hear God. It feels as if the space itself is in a constant state of readiness...and in that state of hushed intensity, where you've bared your soul to crowds of hundreds, now are able to open up and bare your soul to a crowd of one.

One might think that this "sacred theatre experience" is a difficult thing to explain to a person 1. Not ever having experienced Theatre and/or 2. Not ever having experienced God. But it's not, really...most people, having stood in an empty theatre, has felt something intense and real that may be easily "explained" by a haunting, but more likely by the knowledge of those that came before you, and will come after, and the intense nakedness that each of them feels on that stage. Many of us will recognize that experience in our own lives, not just in an empty theatre, that there is Something out there that knows each part of us intimately...it simply is more pronounced in one of these "sacred" spaces.

Where are you from?

I found myself this past weekend standing in Trinity Lutheren Church in Port Clinton, Ohio, listening to a oboe solo accompanying a recording of crickets, coyotes, and bullfrogs, and, having been assigned the post as "greeter," directing people where to sit, when to enter and exit, and where the pottys were. Had you told me an hour prior to that moment that in a mere 60 minutes I would have to assume a position of authority over a location I had never seen before, and then proceed to maintain that authority drenched in music I did not exactly embrace, surrounded by people from the Lake Erie Islands community that knew far more than I did, I would have had quite a laugh.

But, alas, there I was- amidst howling coyotes, stained glass disciples, and the arts-starved elderly... It got me thinking about locations in general, and I began to think what steps I had taken to get to that point. Born in OH, Raised in PA, Calvin in MI, OSU in Columbus, OH, and now at an Arts Festival in Port Clinton, OH. I remember at Calvin how frequently the question of "where are you from?" found its way into conversations. I feel I answered "a small town in Western PA...you've never heard of it..." a million times my first year. I remember listening to the missionary kids list the places they'd lived and thought either "Wow! How exciting!" or, on more gloomy days, "Man, I am so glad my answer is more normal!" Then came OSU, and the answer to that question became more difficult, because as much as I had loved growing up in PA, my time in Grand Rapids, MI, had molded me just as strongly, not to mention supplying me a husband with a history steeped in the area.

Then we were fortunate enough to log a number of travels...England, Scotland, Oregon, Texas, North Carolina, Florida, Napa, Maine, etc... and each place molded me just a little more. So, asked the question during my graduate work at OSU, where was I from? Well... do you want the short answer or none at all?

This is not to say that my life has been so exciting I just am overwhelmed by the prospect of answering one little question, or that I think my travels have been so extensive as to merit an identity crisis, but moreso that I wish to give credit to each locale that has informed who I am today. I think this goes for many people in my circle, most who have traveled far more than I. Our generation is more mobile than ever before, and...more homeless...when you think about it.

So, standing in that church in Port Clinton, OH, and thinking about where I had been to get to that moment, I realized how true it is that God is the Ultimate Event Planner. (A phrase I used some 13 months ago, when I was hired as an event planner against all odds, time constraints, and money pressures. It was used much to the excitement of my husband, who lives for the well-placed corny metaphor.) Had I started, 5 years ago, planning to make it to that moment, I would have screwed up to the point that I may not have ever made it to Ohio. I'm so glad it wasn't up to me. But, God, well, to not only create each of us in His image, but then to move us through this life, gathering information, travels, good and bad experiences, all to end up in His arms! And, finally, at the end, we are a confused mess of bad choices, shining moments, ugly mornings, uncontrolable laughter, misplaced anger, missed chances, pure happiness, expensive travels, and second thoughts. And He loves us for all of it. Thank goodness, huh?

The next time someone asks me where I'm from, I might answer Columbus, I might answer Michigan, I might answer a small town in Western PA...you've never heard of it. But that doesn't really matter, does it? It's not where we're from, but where we've been, and who controls where we're going...I'm just thankful it's not me! Because I couldn't have been blessed with as many experiences without Him.

Succumbing to Peer Pressure...

So, not having wanted to draw attention to my otherwise fairly boring life, I had not, until now, started a blog. I didn't have a real reason- I just knew I wouldn't update it, which I might not, and knew that I certaintly didn't feel the need to bore people with my tedious life details. And then I remembered, most of my friends are in the arts- and the arts are ALL ABOUT life's tedious details...seen in a different light.

Thus, our blog.