Yes. Yes, I can do that.

I'm sure I'll talk more about my job later, but suffice it to say, I work in the Member Activities Department at Life Time Fitness as a Sales Assistant and Event Planner. We're throwing our annual kids' Halloween Party next month, and my boss asked me if I knew anyone who was a face painter. Happilly, if not GLEEFULLY, I announced that, Yes, I do. I, in fact, could face paint. I am a face painter.

This is not the first time I have been giddy over the fact that I can serve someone with one of my useless skills. You see, I have been known to be able to do a lot of stupid stuff. Most of this stuff is inconsequential to most people's lives, but I love knowing and learning all these silly things, such as welding, crocheting, and making lip balm (Oh, how I wish I were joking...). This has been an inside joke in my family for a while, seeing as I'm not really running towards a specific career right now, but I can do lots of stupid crap. I went home a few weeks ago, and announced to my Sister Kate (also the title of a fabulous song from the Ditty Bops) that I had learned how to rock climb, and was now Belay Certified. She promptly responded "Ah, yes, yet another useless skill you'll never use!" Lovely. Of course, she's right, and I do like adding things to my list. It's become a bit of a hobby, I suppose. And, I won't bore you by listing whatever skills I think I have...I assure you, it's nothing short of embarassing for me and those associated with me.

The problem is, I do not excell at any of these things. In fact, I've often called myself the "Queen of the Mediocre Skill." (..."You know, like nunchuck skills, bowhunting skills, computer hacking skills... Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills"...I can't get it out of my head...) And, honestly, I don't really wish to excell at these things. Oh, I want to be GOOD at them- enough that I could provide assistance in a pinch indoor rock-climbing belaying emergency, or throw a quilt together at the last minute- but it's really just a collection. The question that really gets me is when someone, ANYONE, asks me "Do you know how to ______?" and I have to say no. Man, I HATE that. The thing is, I don't expect that of everyone else! When I ask someone else if they know how to do something, I certaintly don't expect them to say yes, or- if they say no- think worse of them for not knowing that particular skill. But, I surely have made it my goal to be able to say yes to most things- at least dealing with skills that do not require Board Certification, Higher Education, or Possible Legal Consequences and/or Jail Time.

I have wished many times that there were a Spiritual Gift to explain my little...problem. The boy scouts have a great motto, and as the proud daughter of an accomplished Eagle Scout, I have known the Boy Scout motto since I was little- "Always Be Prepared"- and I can use that for a reasonable explaination. It's not quite a Bible verse, but it will do.