There is a new member adviser here who looks, for lack of a better description, like Ziggy. I'm sure he's a really nice guy, but he walks by my desk at least 40 times a day and EVERY TIME he says something terribly original like, "Are we having fun yet?" (or "Smile!", which, not having a terribly happy neutral face is a comment I get often, yet always manages to illicit the exact opposite reaction out of me...I can't imagine why). My usual response is a cherry "Always!" and he smiles and moves on. Every day, it's the same... 40 times a day...
But he changed it up a bit lately. As I said before, Ziggy, albeit nice, is not very original, and now says- wait for it- "Still having fun?" every time he sees me. Are you KIDDING me? Please, DEAR GOD, help me!!! It's getting to the point that it's sucking whatever wit I may have had out of my brain and drying up whatever friendly smile I might have on my face. AND HE LOOKS LIKE ZIGGY!
So, friends, I implore you, help me regain the will to wit. What can I say to Ziggy the next time he says "Are we having fun yet?" And, remember, I have to see him all the time. Every day. 40 times.
And he looks like Ziggy, for the love of all things funny!!!
8 comments:
First of all, this post reminded me of my grandfather, who would have conversations with his peers that went something like this:
Grandpa: Are you working hard?
Other Elderly Gentleman: Hardly working!
*Both men laugh as if this were the most original comment ever*
Secondly, a few responses to "Are we having fun yet":
1) No, your majesty, you are not.
2) I left my barrel of monkeys in the trunk.
3) You know, actually, I checked my job description, and I'm contractually bound NOT to have any fun.
I agree...you can't think of these things on the spot. You're too busy wondering how it can happen that people actually think they are funny when they aren't.
I'm hung up on the fact that he looks like Ziggy! Does this mean he doesn't wear pants? I really dont think Ziggy's long T-shirt is proper gym attire. Does his lack of pants affect his sales? By the way, the clock on this computer is off. I'm not really reading your blog before 7am--sorry Beth.
Oooo boy. Okay, there's got to be something here. How about:
"Fun spelled backwards is nuf, you can figure out the rest."
"No, but I'm still having psychotic tendencies."
"Stuff it, Ziggy!!"
I would go with,
Yes, Yes I am. (as seriously as possible)
No siree Bob-a-roni (as happy as possible)
Then of course there is the attempt to over cheese the cheesy. But my experience is that cheesy people have no cheese limit.
This reminds me so much of the office in Dead Like Me
I have this same problem at work. One of my co-workers (who works in a different office, thankfully) always greets me with "What do ya know?" I usually respond with "Hey, how are you?" or "What's up?" To which he always responds, "I said, 'what do ya know?'" And I sit there, completely confused about what to say...
Old one liners are worse than silence. You might reply with, "as long as I take at least three of the little blue pills and I have my can of mace, I'm ok."
That's too long, however.
Okay here's what you do
1-Have a water bottle handy. Just keep it at your desk. When you see him coming in the distance take a big swig. When he utters his famous line. Pause for a second and then do a GIANT spit take. Like a geyser, just explode . Then add a few hacking coughs. You could even disapear behind your desk to "recover". Maybe by the time you come up he'll be gone. Do this each and everytime he says anything to you.
2- Have a t-shirt made that has a picture of Ziggy on it. Then underneath the picture add the word "YOU". Wear this to work everyday. Or have a series of shirts made one for each day of the week.
3-Get a Sunday Comic section and make youself over to look like Blondie. Then continually find excuses to walk by where he is working. And then to combat his pithy, surfacey questions ask him some deep and probing queries.
"What is love?" OR "What are your thoughts on Communism" work well.
If I think of more I'll let you know.
Thank you so much for your help, everyone! I have spent many hours laughing at each of these comments...and dreaming of the day I can use them!
I am having my picture of Ziggy- YOU! shirts made up right now.
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