Hey, Girl!

Has anyone besides me noticed a definite increase in the use of the phrase "Hey, Girl!", used when one female addresses another? This greeting boggles my mind. Not only is it so generic that it could literally be addressing 51% of the population, but it is directly admitting that, "Yes, I recognize you, and I feel I need to acknowledge your existence, but I don't really want to access the part of my brain that contains your name, and...now, come to think of it, I don't even know it."

This is so prolific at Life Time Fitness, and from my central perch in the Member Activities counter, I hear it so many times a day, that I decided to count, in one hour, how many times I heard it. The grand total? 28!

I understand wanting to say hello to people to be polite and inviting, and wanting an easy way to do it, but the "Hey, Girl!" just needs to stop. Or use it on a few select occasions. Not every time you see another female.

Or, we could start the trend of "Hey, Boy!" It's just not the same.

I can die now...

Ok- So, we recently discovered that the actors on The Office- our Thursday night favorite- have their own blogs on MySpace. Here is Jenna Fischer's (Pam) blog: www.myspace.com/pambeesley You can get to everyone else's from her page.

Well, in a recent blog entry, she blows my mind with this:

********
I have a big announcement! I was just cast in the new Will Ferrell movie "Blades of Glory". The film stars Will Ferrell and Jon Heder (Napoleon Dynamite) as a figure skating team competing against a sibling skating pair played by Amy Poehler (SNL) and Will Arnett (Arrested Development). I play Will and Amy's little sister and Jon Heder's love interest. It is a HILARIOUS movie! I'm very excited. It starts shooting in March.
********

This is the last movie I ever need to see...Will Ferrell, Will Arnett, Jon Heder, Amy Poehler, and Jenna Fischer ICE SKATING? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I think we're going to find out if it's possible to die from laughter...

Steelers Day '06 (I mean... Super Bowl XL)

So we're writing this as we're camped out at home with my brother Chip wading our way through four hours of Super Bowl pre-game. This is a very special day, as the Pittsburgh Steelers haven't been to the Bowl since 1995. And they're led by their 23-year-old quarterback, Ben Roethlisberger.



We wanted to make this a special day for Chip since he couldn't be home with his dad watching the game. As you can see by the pictures, we've got all the appropriate clothing, gear, and Big Ben's beef jerky. Not to mention a giant cookie with a special note to the Steelers from Chip.



Chip's prediction: Steelers: 34 Seahawks: 20.

Beth's prediction: Seahawks: 0 Steelers: Delicious.

Nick's predication: Steelers: Tuesday Seahawks: Jeff.

One Step Closer...

One more step! As of this past Monday evening I finished writing my doctoral exams. For me, the hard part's over, although I still have an oral defense next week. The stacks you see in this picture constitute about 3/4 of the books I used for the exams. No, I did not exactly read every single one of them - there was some skimming involved - but I got to know quite a few of them quite well. Overall the process was fun: when else are you stuck in a room by yourself and given three days to write about the things that interest you? It's pretty cozy, all camped-out with a laptop, some music, a couple books, and my emergency kit prepared by Beth, complete with snacks, soda, kleenex, a Paul Robinett candle, and a picture of me, Beth, and Maeby to watch over me. And the total pages after three days of writing: 88. Oh yeah, baby! One page for every key on a piano. Am I the only one who thinks that's cool? Probably.

Sunday School

Nick and I were asked a while back to begin teaching the "Young Marrieds" Adult Sunday School class at our church (worthingtoncc.org). This is continuingly baffling to me, as I view ourselves as compartitively young marrieds still! However, it's been 4 1/2 years- so where's the cut off? And, though we've had our fair share of varying marriage experience with a few relocations, degrees, and time-management issues, does the lack of home ownership, kids, multiple vehicles, etc... matter in teaching others how to work through these things? I'm not sure yet. I'll let you know in a few weeks.

I'm enjoying the organization, social event planning, and community-building part of it, and Nick is excited about the teaching and lesson plans. It works out well. We're going to start with the book, The 5 Love Languages, which is good. We read it a number of years ago, and it really opened our eyes to a lot of things. I'm glad we're reading it with a group, however, because there are a few problems with the book. There are many more than 5 Love Languages, and the book certaintly doesn't do anything to break down gender stereotypes (it automatically assumes all men are horny all the time and cannot function without a woman, and that all women need to be told they're beautiful 300 times a day for them to go on living...), but it begins the discussion that there is a whole different set of vocab for different people, and that is the important part.

So, wish us luck! We're excited about it and feel really called to teach this group. We'll keep you updated! And, for those of you who are planning on moving to Columbus, we'll save you a few seats!

The 2 'D's' of Dodgeball: Dekker and Dekker

So, Nick and I have recently added one of the strangest skills to our resume: Dodgeball Officials. My boss recently offered this strangely high-paying gig for our Friday night Life Time Fitness Adult Dodgeball league to Nick and I, and we eagerly accepted! I mean, who wouldn't?!

Now, I use the word "adult" loosely. The individuals who form the highly competitive teams that we have the pleasure of organizing may resemble the advanced version of the species homo sapiens, but in no way do their actions or manners reflect their supposed age.

I have often said, having directed children, teenagers, college students, and adults, that adults are the most difficult to control. This league perfectly demonstrates this fact. These (mostly) men, are some of the most out-of-control petty whiners I have ever come in contact with! Last night, even after my nightly speech of "It's just a game...chill out," we had people disputing calls, yelling at us, calling us names...it was just thrilling.

Overall, however, it's a pretty fun time. I mean, watching grown men dive to the floor to avoid a ball just never gets old for me. And we get loud whistles. And hand signals. I couldn't ask for anything more on a Friday night!

O. Dekker

One of our professors is part of a radio project exploring writers from Ohio, and from time to time she asks her students to lend a helping voice. Check out the site below:

http://www.ohioana-authors.org/

Scroll down and click on the December 5 entry featuring short story writer O. Henry. Listen to the little the audio excerpt. You may hear a familiar voice...

Save Our Bluths!

For those of you who missed last night's episode of Arrested Development, shame on you! Priceless, as usual. It was essentially the Bluths brilliantly begging FOX not to cancel them. At one point, a website flashed on screen: SaveOurBluths.org...which, incidentally, is nonexistent. However, SaveOurBluths.com is a very informative site all about how you, too, can contribute to the grass roots campaign for keeping this show on the air.

One of the things they suggest is buying Arrested Development apparel...which I am now kicking myself for not bestowing these brilliant gifts upon my friends and family this Christmas. At www.cafepress.com, if you search for Arrested Development, you will be rewarded with a number of designs that perfectly exemplify the show and its myriad of inside jokes.

So, stand up for the dozens of never nudes out there, grab a hit of a juice box, and give yourself over to the secular flesh! Write a strongly worded letter to the FOX execs and help save one of the smartest shows ever!

Christmas at the Dekkers!

So, I'm sure all of you have been waiting with baited breath to see the pictures of our final, decorated, Christmas tree. So, here it is!

I have also thrown in a bonus one that didn't make it into the Christmas card!

Christmas Cookies

So we made some cookies this Christmas. Sugar cookies. Now, everyone in my family knows that the perfect Sugar Cookie has been my Holy Grail for a number of years now. I have tried a different recipie each year for the past five years, all with varying degrees of success. But they all fell short of the texture, taste, and decoratability that I had in my head. Until Becky and Jason Hedden blessed us with their recipie. Now, THIS was a Sugar Cookie. Creamy, flaky, not too sweet, and so easy to cut into shapes and decorate. Of course, leave it to my family to take decorating to the next, disturbing, level.

The cookie on the left is Winnie the Pooh, clearly recognizable by his jovial, yet curious, grin, and crimson top. The one on the left is my father's interpretation of what Pooh would look like were he on fire. Please note the toothpick splint where Pooh lost his leg in the blaze and my father (yes, a doctor) retrieved and re-attached the severed limb.

Now this cookie may look like a simple rabid Polar Bear, but those of you who are Lost fans will note the difference. What is it? The bleeding bullet wound where Sawyer shot the approaching beast in Lost: Season 1, thus saving the hunting group. My question is why didn't they have bear steaks that night...but we may never know.

8-year-olds: A Scene

Setting: A climbing wall.

(Both climbers are racing up the wall. GIRL is farther than BOY.)

GIRL
I'm beating you! I'm almost there!

BOY
It's not over 'til someone gets injured! So, get out the Band-Aids, Michelle!

THE END

HAAPY BITHDAE!

So, one of the events that we host here at Life Time Fitness is children's birthday parties. They are great fun to chaperone, especially when you get really active kids. I chaperoned two of these 3-hour parties yesterday, and learned a lot more than I thought I would.

Things I Learned from a 7-year-old's Birthday Party

1. Life is really just a game of freeze tag- just try to be the ones who un-freeze, and stay away from those who freeze.

2. Pizza is the best thing ever!...Wait!!! YOU HAVE CAKE?!?!

3. Gifts are great- whether they are given in pretty bags stuffed with tissue paper and ribbons, or in a brown paper lunch bag with "HAAPY BITHDAE!" scribbled on the side.

4. Small potato chip bags make great carpet-skis.

5. It's OK to be the one that bounces around the soccer field doing nothing in particular...until the big kid smashes into you.

6. Inhaling seven pieces of pizza, 2 cans Coke, 2 bags of corn chips and 3 pieces of cake makes people laugh...but you sick.

7. Kickball is a very important game, and needs to be taken very seriously. This is life or death stuff here. And don't get us started on T-Ball!

8. Dad is the best basketball player in the world.

9. Little sisters are SO stupid...but you touch her and I'll kick your butt.

10. The gym closet that Miss Beth accidentally left open a crack is a wonderland full of magical toys, flying machines, glittering balls, and untapped merriment beyond our wildest imagination.

Christmas Trees!

I've long not fully grasped the idea of Christmas Trees, but have always embraced it. So, we decided to make the trek outside of Columbus to rural Grove City, OH, to find and cut down our first Christmas Tree. Of course, Maeby had to come along as well!

We found the tree farm, grabbed a saw, and trotted into the field of little green triangles. Maeby thought it was fun to bite the saw. Once.

There were these holes interspersed throughout the field, where people had dug up trees. We thought it was great fun to throw a treat into the hole and see if she would get stuck...man, we're awful people.

So we found our tree! And, after a brief family portrait, Nick and Maeby, armed with a saw and razor-like teeth (I'll let you guess who had the saw) set about cutting it down.

A tractor came and dragged it back to the barn, where they bagged it, and tied it to our car. Stay tuned for the completed product!!!

Saying goodbye...

Thanksgiving morning, they announced that this season is, indeed, Alias' final. My first thought was, THANK GOODNESS!!! It's just been downright painful to watch this year. But then I think back to the first two years and how amazing they were and I realize that we said good-bye to it a long time ago. Of course, in this day and age, when truly quality shows are cancelled on a producer's whim- Arrested Development, Kitchen Confidential, Family Guy, etc..., Alias' five seasons is a pretty impressive amount of time for a show to last.

We shall always have the DVD's!!!

Thanking

So, I've been mulling over a post on thanksgiving and thankfulness, unable to say anything new about it. Then I checked my email this morning, and read my daily e-devotional from [get ready for a shameless plug...] www.purposedrivenlife.com and it said it all! I thought it was great- and wanted to share it all with you! Happy Thanksgiving!

What Thanksgiving Can Do by John Fischer

The worst moment for an atheist comes when he is really thankful and has no one to thank. - Unknown

Thanksgiving is the theme song of the Christian. For a Christian not to be thankful is like a dog not to wag his tail at his owner's approach.

Thankful Christians walk around grateful for every breath, every sunset, every new morning, every color in the color spectrum, and every star in the sky. Like an alcoholic who is clean and sober, noticing beauty and taste for the first time, we are grateful just to be alive because we have been dead for so long.

It's hard to think of one vice that the virtue of thankfulness cannot render useless. One does not need to steal when one is thankful. A man does not covet his neighbor's wife when he is thankful for his own. No one craves more when he is grateful for what he has.

In the same way, a thankful heart cancels out pride and arrogance. No need to judge other people when you are thankful for who you are. No need to measure yourself by and compare yourself to others when you are thankful for what God has done in your life. No need to keep anyone out of the kingdom of God when you're overwhelmed that you got in. (God can let in anyone He wants. I am simply glad to be counted among the saved.)

You don't care if you get the important seat at the table when you are overcome with gratitude at simply being invited to the dinner. You don't put heavy weights on other people's shoulders when you are thankful that God has lightened your own load. You are not obsessed with what other people think of you when you are overwhelmed with the fact that God is thinking about you all the time. You don't demand respect when you are thankful for your place. You don't have to hide your own sin when you are already thankful for God's forgiveness. You don't have to protect your image when you are already number one with God. You don't have to condemn other people's blindness when it's only the grace of God that has allowed you to see. You don't have to try for the highest place when you are already grateful for whatever place you were given. You don't have to make a show of spirituality when you are thankful for having received the Spirit. You don't have to clothe yourself in holy robes when you have been already clothed in righteousness. You don't have to be full of yourself when you are thankful that God has filled you up with Himself.

Not only do we have a lot to be thankful for, our thankfulness can accomplish much.

This is Flirting. This is Flirting on Chaser and Endorphins.

So, from my cockpit-like view of the goings-on of Life Time Fitness, I witness exactly what an excess of caffeine and endorphins can do to (hopefully) single men and women trying their darndest to flirt. There are three specific situations I've noted, so choose your favorite. They are all clearly winners.

1. The Playful Towel-Snap: It's not really hard enough to sting, and it's usually met with the "snapped" grabbing the towel and pulling. Throughout the giggly exchange, the towel may be passed back and forth between the couple until a third party walks by and interrupts the conversation.

2. The Seemingly-Witty Observation:
Woman- "Those lights look like donuts to me!"
Man- "What?"
Woman- "Donuts! Or bagels, maybe."
Man- "I can see that."
Woman- "I've never noticed that before!" (twitter...)

3. The "Clearly-I'm-in-here-every-day,-you-don't-think-my-butt-looks-this-good-by-itself-do-you?, but-will-tell-you-I-can-never-make-it-because-my-busy-social-calendar-just-sucks-up-so-much-of-my-charismatic-time" Conversation Starter.
Enough said.

Brilliant to the Bitter End

So, those of us still mourning the eminent demise of The Best Show On Television, Arrested Development, can rest assured the cast, creators and writers know how to take their bow. This was recently on tvguide.com:

In the News: Arrested Development, 24 and More!
Friday, November 18, 2005

HYSTERICAL DEVELOPMENT: Leave it to Arrested Development to mine the tragedy of its imminent death for laughs. Per Variety, series creator Mitch Hurwitz is planning an episode that will poke fun at Fox's decision to reduce the show's episode order from 22 to 13, effectively canceling it. In the episode, titled "S.O.B." for "Save Our Bluths," the Bluth clan considers throwing a fund-raiser to save their construction company from shutting down. In one scene, Jason Bateman's Michael notes, "Our backs are against the wall.... It's just hard for me to accept that it's really come to begging." There's even a conversation about whether the Home Builders Organization (HBO) might be willing to come to their rescue. That idea is quickly nixed though, leading George Sr. to say, "I guess it's Showtime. We'll put on some kind of show at the [fund-raiser]." Meanwhile, after reading this item on TVGuide.com, the American public released the following statement: "Huh? I don't get that last joke. I told you this show was dumb."

Ziggy

So, we have what are called "Member Advisers" at the gym. Essentially, they are the salespeople that are trying to get you to join. They aren't as bad as you think, in fact- I was most impressed with them when I joined a year ago. However, they have to hit these astronomical goals, and if they don't within 90 days, they're let go. Needless to say, there's quite a turnover.



There is a new member adviser here who looks, for lack of a better description, like Ziggy. I'm sure he's a really nice guy, but he walks by my desk at least 40 times a day and EVERY TIME he says something terribly original like, "Are we having fun yet?" (or "Smile!", which, not having a terribly happy neutral face is a comment I get often, yet always manages to illicit the exact opposite reaction out of me...I can't imagine why). My usual response is a cherry "Always!" and he smiles and moves on. Every day, it's the same... 40 times a day...

But he changed it up a bit lately. As I said before, Ziggy, albeit nice, is not very original, and now says- wait for it- "Still having fun?" every time he sees me. Are you KIDDING me? Please, DEAR GOD, help me!!! It's getting to the point that it's sucking whatever wit I may have had out of my brain and drying up whatever friendly smile I might have on my face. AND HE LOOKS LIKE ZIGGY!

So, friends, I implore you, help me regain the will to wit. What can I say to Ziggy the next time he says "Are we having fun yet?" And, remember, I have to see him all the time. Every day. 40 times.

And he looks like Ziggy, for the love of all things funny!!!

Noooooooooooo!!!!!!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20051111/tv_nm/shows_dc

I know...I know...

Nick's parents visited this past weekend, and mom and I got a little crazy with the cameras, and how cute Maeby was in her first independent trip into our backyard!


I have to admit, at one point, I did try to shove her hind end into this stump in order to achieve the ultimate in cute pictures...then, a few hours later, lamented that crazy nut Anne Geddes who shoves babies into women's hoisery, hangs them from the ceiling and takes pictures of them. What a hypocrite I am.











Then, after a long day...she sure loves to cuddle. And I certainly don't mind.